Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.... Terry Pratchett
I'm back in Versailles - but it isn't the same me.
Today's muscial moment
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Probably not, definitely not, as well known as other songs by this artist (Sinead O'Connor - if you are too young to know). But "I will rise, I will return..." - that gritty wail. The passion in this song. OMG. "You should have left the light on..." It tears my heart from my chest in a very personal way.
I think it is the anguish in her vocals - particularly in her first album "The Lion and the Cobra - combined with raw sexuality that speaks to me. We will be listening to more of this album here in the days to come. "I want you hands on me..............."
My mother died March 24, 2024. I'm having a hard time processing that, I guess. It is only starting to hurt. When I was little ("like a number approaching infinity, say, 6") and not so little, but younger (30), I could not imagine a world without my mother. To consider such a place and time was unbearably painful. Yet, here I am. And, often, it saddens and confuses me to say, I don't feel anything. More, when the loss was new, I am ashamed that I felt relief. I was her caretaker. I wasn't all that great at it. She told me so regularly. She told me I was a disappointment. She told me I lacked compassion. She was sad and lonely and she wanted me to split my soul open and share everything with her. She wanted me to satify her needs for connection and give her the opportunity to mother me in my distress. "Ann. Why are you so unhappy?" I think I tried at least a few couple times, but i...
I've got a new boyfriend. Landon. He's going into the 5th grade next year. I'm not sure if I'm cheating on my husband or my son. We meet at the pool. As soon as I arrives, he's beside me asking "Do you want to dive off the board with me?" Absolutely, Landon. Absolutely. Zupe stopped playing with me 2 years ago. If I swim up to him, he points me to the nearest ladder. But, Landon... "Want to do a cannonball this time?" "Let's run up to the edge and dive in!" And, he's so charming. "How old ARE YOU?" "Did you sleep OK last night? You look tired." Once again, I'm having fun and in demand!
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