Body of Evidence

 “I'm too old for change," she explained.  "I'm too old to pursue good health and new relationships.  The past breathes for me.  It is my life.  You are young, Dr. Scarpetta.  Someday you will see what it is like to look back.  You will find it inescapable.  You will find your personal history drawing you back into familiar rooms where, ironically, events occurred that set into motion your eventual estrangement from life.  You will find the hard furniture of heartbreak more comfortable and the people who failed you friendlier with time.  You will find yourself running back into the arms of the pain you once ran away from.  It is easier.  That's all I can say.  It is easier."

I have started re-reading all of Patricia Cornwell's Scarpetta novels.  I prefer these earlier works to her last one - which, ironically, is the one that pushed me into this journey.  Scarpetta, Marino, and Benton don't seem to really age.  Lucy does, of course.  You can't stay a teenager for 30 years.  Marino gets into shape.  They all seem to give up smoking cigarettes. And, they benefit from the advancement of technology.  Phone lines don't get cut and so, today, Scarpetta wouldn't get left behind in the mansion with the victim's, Cary Harper's, sister.  This sister, Sterling, wouldn't get the opportunity to share the thoughts above.  Thoughts that are resonating with me.

Maybe it is because I'm a little bit sick today.  Fighting off a cold which so far leaves me mostly tired, with an aching chill running up (down?) my spine, and feeling a bit morose.  It doesn't help that my idea of a good use of my day home alone without child or job was to re-read an entire file box of letters written to me when postage on a love letter was a 15c Oliver Wendell Holmes.  And while they were not all romantic, they were all filled with intense love.  This immersion in reflection left my heart bruised in a way I haven't felt in years.  Kevin might call it the horror of nostalgia.  It feels a lot like the ache of young love...."events...that set in motion your eventual estrangement from life."

One of the common references in these letters was the psychic link between friends (ESP) - and many, many, many quotations from pop music, especially Wings.  So, it felt entirely appropriate that as the day was winding down, I get sent a link to Paul McCartney's newest single.

Sending love to you all.  I miss you. "No one can erase the days we left behind."



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