The Secret Chapter by Genevieve Cogman

 *We note that the Library has not had fire drills for the last two hundred years.  This is because we found the two default responses unhelpful.  These being “running away screaming” or “resigning yourself to death while clutching your favorite books.”  Librarians with more useful suggestions should contact Yves via email and attach a full benefit-threat analysis.

“It’s not the duel I’m complaining about, it’s the calligraphy challenge that started the quarrel.”… But even here Kai had his sense of aesthetics.  “The choice of ink colors available was completely unsuitable, she should have demanded a steel pen, ands frankly the whole thing ought to have been called off until both parties could get better paper.  No wonder they came to blows instead of competing as planned.  It simply wasn’t possible for either to produce work representative of their skills.”

“Jerome…what if we just pay them?”

“Seriously?” Jerome seemed personally insulted by the very idea.

So was Kai.  But there were moments in life when one had to lower oneself to practice such as making deals with Fae, drinking poorly made tea— and paying off thugs.

Irene had rarely managed to reduce a room to quite such stunned silence.  (Well, there had been the occasion with the robot impersonator and the levitating corgis…)