Upside Ann

 From "The Pleasure of My Company" by Steve Martin. It was not that I missed her; she was far from me by the time it was all over that our communications had become spare.  She lived in me dead or alive.  Even now, the absence of her letters is the same as getting them for when I have the vague notion that one is due, I feel the familiar sensation of comfort that I did when I held a physical letter in my hand. She lives in me dead or alive.  I'm still struggling with the horror that the mother who I carry is the one I didn't recognize - the new one - the one who was sad and afraid and didn't like me.  I hope and fear for the day that she steps aside for the funny, warm, supportive mother I spent most of my life thinking I could never live without her.  On that day that I welcome her back into my heart, I will break. 

 "But our love was extinguished quickly, as though someone had thrown water from a high tower onto a burning dog." The man has a way with words. A super-strong contender for the book I send everyone at Christmas this year.  Keep that to yourself.  You don't want to ruin the surprise.  This book is a compilation of Martin's short pieces - not sure if they are better called stories or essays - but I do know for sure I can call them short- and two novellas.  Smart. Touching. And, yes, funny. "...innumerable obstacles I would face on such a trip.  I could list a thousand impossibilities: I cannot get in an elevator.  I cannot stay on a hotel floor higher than three.  I cannot use a public toilet.  What if there were no Rite Aids? What if we passed a roadside mall where one store was open the others were closed? What if I saw the words apple orchard? What if the trip took us in proximity to the terrifyingly inviting maw of the Grand Canyon? ...